WHEN YOUR BODY TEXTS YOU: I NEED TO CUM

Ladies.

This latest blog should take no convincing.

Cum. Cum often. Cum more than you are cumming right now. I could end the blog right there. I should. I mean… CUM! Just do it.

And if you are one of the women out there faking orgasms… WOMAN! I don’t even know where to begin with you. You’re hurting ALL of us!

It’s fascinating to me that we as women will collectively give each other shit for not eating right or not working out, but will stay silent on the issue of NOT having orgasms. Or worse: faking them. Are we still out here doing this?

If you care about your friend’s health enough to comment on the size of her ass, love her enough to make sure that she’s having copious, healthy, immune-system-loving orgasms.

That’s right. Not cumming is NOT healthy for the body, but particularly for the female body. In between those cycling classes and green smoothies, rub one (or two) out as apart of that new healthy regimen you’ve started.

Say it with me:

Friends don’t let friends hate themselves, date shitty people, miss brunch, or fake orgasms.

It’s 2019, damn it. We are taking agency over our bodies and our voices. A healthy and balanced sex life (whether partnered or not) should be a priority. And in a climate where women are finally saying fuck you, hell no, #Imreclaimingmytime, #timesup, and #metoo, we should also be shouting #NoMoreFakeOrgasms, #shecumstoo, and #orgasmsmatter. I’m confident we can get these started if we really tried!

Okay. I’m officially stepping off my soapbox. Let’s get into it.

Signs Your Body is Texting You: I NEED TO CUM:

Your body telling you she needs to orgasm could manifest in many different ways:

  1. Feeling stressed or grumpy?

  2. Feeling anxious?

  3. Feeling depressed?

  4. Can’t sleep?

  5. Not feeling comfortable in your own skin?

As always, these could be symptomatic of many issues within your body, but orgasms are a very real way to combat some of these feelings. Lack of orgasms and its effect on your body is definitely something to explore.

SCIENCE SHIT: COOL FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE FEMALE ORGASM

The Female Orgasm is an Energy Sucker:  Evidence suggests that women’s orgasms consume more energy than men’s. In studies dating back to Masters and Johnson’s pioneering sex research during the 1960s, women’s orgasms have been shown to be at least as intense as men’s, often more so, lasting longer and producing more convulsive thrashing. In addition, more women than men are multi-orgasmic, able to have successive orgasms in fairly rapid succession.”

The Female Orgasm’s Nueral Network is VERY Different from Woman to Woman (and light years different from a Man’s). The female pelvic nerve is described as a sort of information superhighway that branches out from the base of the spinal cord to the cervix, connecting the latter to the brain and controlling much of sexual response. But this information superhighway is really more like a super-labyrinth, the architecture of which differs enormously from one woman to another, and is completely unique for each one. This diversity of wiring in the highly complex female pelvic neural network helps explain why women have wildly different triggers for orgasm.

By contrast, the male pelvic neural network is significantly simpler, consisting of comparatively regular neural pathways arranged neatly in a grid that surrounds the penis in a circle of pleasure.

The Female Orgasm is Considered a Great “Liberator: Naomi Wolf in the book Vagina: A New Biography writes: “Female sexual pleasure, rightly understood, is not just about sexuality, or just about pleasure. It serves, also, as a medium of female self-knowledge and hopefulness; female creativity and courage; female focus and initiative; female bliss and transcendence; and as medium of a sensibility that feels very much like freedom. To understand the vagina properly is to realize that it is not only coextensive with the female brain, but is also, essentially, part of the female soul.”

Kind of cool, right? Our orgasms are complex, powerful, varied, and all-encompassing. There’s no reason why we shouldn’t be having them.

OKAY, THAT’S COOL, BUT WHY ARE ORGASMS HEALTHY?  

So glad you asked!

Yummy Hormone Release: As discussed in our previous blog, orgasms release feel-good hormones, Oxytocin being one of them.  Oxytocin also has numerous health benefits such as combating high blood pressure,  depression, anxiety, and intestinal problems. Some studies even show it can protect against heart disease and some cancers. Nice!

Increase of DHEA: What the hell is DHEA?  dehydroepiandrosterone, is a hormone that’s produced by your body. Some of it is converted into the major male and female sex hormones testosterone and estrogen, and it does decrease as we age, starting around 30. A healthy amount of DHEA in the body contributes to healthy adrenals, fights depression, and strengthens bone density. Though there are supplements for this hormone, when we orgasm regularly, we increase DHEA in the body naturally, and subsequently, leads to better sex. Isn’t that FANTASTIC? Have sex and earn points for better sex. Win win!

The Vivacious Vagus Nerve: Oxytocin hals a positive effect on the vagus nerve, is one of the primary nerves associated with parasympathetic nervous system.  This system is responsible for your rest-and-digest response. Think of it as the healing/repair/come-back-stronger system. Orgasms are a really easy bio-hack to shift your body into healing and repair and to get your immune system performing optimally.. This is imperative for reducing/eliminating stress within the body so you can actually get shit done. Can’t sleep? Too anxious? Too stressed? Try an orgasm before a sleeping pill.

Orgasms Can Combat Insecurities and Self-Hate: Oxytocin is associated with feelings of love, trust, and bonding. Because our bodies are flooded with this hormone during orgasm, it is a perfect time to do some mirror work. Next time you masterbate, have a mirror handy or make sure you’re facing one in your room. At the point of orgasm, try looking at yourself directly after. Try some affirming thoughts, statements, or gratitude declarations. After a few practiced times, you may start to feel a deeper connection to self, a deeper appreciation and bond. If it doesn’t happen the first time, keep working at it. This is one task that is FUN to try many many MANY times!

Our bodies just texted us I NEED TO CUM. What do we text back?

  1. LOVE

Masterbate. Like a lot. Keep going. Keep trying. If you are partnered, bring that partner in on the action. Speak out about what you want and need and get the orgasms you need.  

  1. ENERGIZE

Foods rich in Omega 3’s and amino acids are known to increase stamina and arousal. So Whole grains, granola, peanuts, oatmeal, salmon, cashews, pecans, coconut, seaweed, seeds, chickpeas, watermelon, lentils, and spinach. Marrena Lindberg, author of The Orgasmic Diet, claims that men and women who strictly follow the full regimen of daily supplements and dietary changes will see improved libido in one to six weeks.

  1. MOVE

Get started on those Kegel exercises! Kegel exercises can help strengthen your pelvic muscles, combat incontinence, and make sex more enjoyable. Your pelvic floor muscles give you better orgasmic control, and can mean the difference between a so-so orgasm and a toe-curling experience. I recommend this article to learn more.

  1. RISE

Patience. Diligence. Persistence. The habit we are trying to create here is a habit of learning your body persistently without frustration or giving up. Give it time. You aren’t broken,  damaged, or less of a woman if you are having difficulty cumming, particularly with a partner. And you certainly aren’t alone. There are a LOT of other factors tied into orgasms and female pleasure that I didn’t cover, trauma being one of them. If you have sexual trauma of any sort, unpacking that and healing from that should be apart of your practice to reclaim your orgasm. Another aspect is simply education. We covered how complex and extraordinary your body is, and the labyrinth of nerves and connections. You are beautiful, involved, and complicated. You can’t crash course this shit. It will take time to figure out what you like, how you like it, and how to push yourself to better, stronger, more powerful orgasms. Involve your partner if you have one. The more you share what you learn about yourself, the better chances your partner has to really blow your mind.

Questions or comments about this blog? Hit me up here or on any fuckin’ platform you want!

 Thanks so much for listening to your body with me. And with every conversation please: Love, Energize, Move, and Rise!


Stacy Berman