If your body could text you she would say “FUCK YOU”

That’s right. Fuck you.

I mean, are you auditioning for the cast of Mean Girls on Broadway? Because that is how you sound. Mean as fuck. Rude as fuck. Relentless and extraordinarily unapologetic in your verbal and emotional abuse to your body. You are the hating ass friend, relative, or co-worker that no one likes and everyone wonders: “Who didn’t hug her as a child?”

This is you every day:

“God you’re fat.”

“Bikinis are a privilege, sweetie.”

“You’re shaped like a boy.”

“Um… did you EARN that bagel?”

“You are just sooooo fucking fat.”  

“New Jeans FAIL.”

“Like anyone would be interested in you when you look like THAT.”

Gasp. Are you your mom?

You body is ultimately tired of your shit. It would make sense that her first text to you simply says: “FUCK YOU.” If she could, she’d block and delete you.

But that’s the fuckery, isn’t it? You can’t block and delete yourself. You are you. In your body. It’s not going ANYWHERE. And if verbal abuse hasn’t worked at ultimately changing your life, your body, your eating habits, or your habit of watching Criminal Minds on Netflix for the fifty-sixth time, then why do we still do it?      

This knowledge and awareness that mental verbal abuse is not helping has not stopped us from the incessant habit of doing it. It’s greater than us. It’s mental, cultural, social, patriarchal, and older than most of us.

That doesn’t mean we can’t kick its ass. And for the good of your relationship with your body, you absolutely should.                                                                                                                                                

Signs Your Body is Saying “Fuck You.”

Obviously your body isn’t going to text you. Yes, she has fingers, but she doesn’t have a phone (I guess she has your phone? She needs her own line? Family Plan!). But she absolutely is talking to you. The point of these blogs is to start understanding her language, and how she is speaking.

This is how your body might be saying “Fuck you:”

  1. Fatigued even after a good night’s rest

  2. Chronic pain in any part of your body not related to structural issues.

  3. Anxiety, depression, and anger.

  4. Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep.  

Yes, these are symptomatic of a LOT of shit. But consider some other shit:

  1. How often do you body monitor in the span of an hour? (check your appearance, your hair, your clothes)

  2. Do you take part in any self-love, body acceptance activities or practices?

  3. What’s your exercise game like?

  4. Do you Gratitude Journal?

  5. How often do you use the phrase “God, I hate my (fill in the blank).”

  6. Do you have a fundamental belief that your life would be catalytically better if you were thinner, curvier, taller, shorter, etc. Somehow “better?”

Yeah, sweetie. You have some body image issues. And it’s NOT that extraordinary. 91% of American women at ANY age feel the same damn way.  

Now there’s a lot MORE to consider here that we don’t have time for: Mental illness in America, the rate of time it takes women to be diagnosed because they aren’t taken seriously, poverty, lack of access to healthy food. We can go on and on.

But let’s focus on ONE thing for this week’s blog:

Your Body is texting you “Fuck You.”

It does NOT have to be that way.

You CAN Change it.

And Yeah, you SHOULD change it.

That last one is crucial. Because even though 91% of women are suffering from it, we can work together to get that number way the fuck down. And you might be asking: So I hate my body. So what? Does it really matter?

Fuck. Yes.

Get Ready for the science shit!

Every Cell In Your Body Is Listening to What you Think About Yourself.

Okay, big ass vocabulary word time: Psychonueroimmunology. Basically, Psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) is a relatively new field of study that looks at the interactions between your central nervous system (CNS) and your immune system. (Click to learn more about this study. Interesting shit.) In short: What we think affects our nervous system, which BIOCHEMICALLY effects our bodies; specifically our immune systems.

Further, there biological mechanisms that actually switch your genes on and off. The study of this is called epigenetics.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cell biologist partook in a study demonstrated that it wasn’t the genes that determined the characteristic of the cell, but rather the environment the gene was in that triggered the translation of a gene in a particular way (For my real science nerds like me, click the above link! The Study is so fucking cool!).

Dr. Lipton says: “I placed one stem cell into a culture dish, and it divided every ten hours. After two weeks, there were thousands of cells in the dish, and they were all genetically identical, having been derived from the same parent cell. I divided the cell population and inoculated them in three different culture dishes.

“Next, I manipulated the culture medium—the cell’s equivalent of the environment—in each dish. In one dish, the cells became bone, in another, muscle, and in the last dish, fat. This demonstrated that the genes didn’t determine the fate of the cells because they all had the exact same genes. The environment determined the fate of the cells, not the genetic pattern. So if cells are in a healthy environment, they are healthy. If they’re in an unhealthy environment, they get sick.”

The study clearly showed that the environment a gene is in, determined by the biochemicals in the body, are responsible for how the cells behave.

Why the hell does this matter for us? So glad you asked. It’s simple:  every cell in our bodies Is listening to what we think about ourselves to determine its behavior. In the context of body image disorder, we have a thought, our body detects the thought, and releases biochemicals in line with that thought. So now we begin to feel in a way that reflects the thought. The mind picks up on these biochemicals and continues to think exactly how we are feeling.

At this point, we are biochemically affecting not only the way we feel but the way we turn our genes on and off.

Furthermore, perceiving ourselves negatively affects our biochemistry, which directly affects our nervous system, which affects our efforts at weight loss, and ultimately our overall health. Basically, our flight or fight response perceives negative self-images as a threat, whether the threat is real or not. One look in the mirror, and anything not related to survival shuts down: digestion, repair, metabolism. Why are we working out, eating right, and not losing weight? This is why. Your body is sending a ginormous middle finger to your efforts because you continue to hate yourself while you do it.

You CANNOT hate yourself and expect sustained success on your health and wellness goals. It’s not woo woo feel-good shit. It’s science and it’s real. Our bodies actually need love to thrive, just like drinking water and eating our veggies.

Now that we understand why self-love and body acceptance is necessary, how do we fix it?

Our body just texted us FUCK YOU. What do we text back?

Every blog I write will end in the same exact way: LOVE, ENERGIZE, MOVE, RISE. Love addresses self-love and body acceptance. Energize will discuss food. Move addresses exercise and movement and Rise will discuss your overall evolution. This area of the blog is where you will find the reasonable tips and tricks to begin work on you. This is how you text back in the same language your body texted you. (And if you trust me and don’t feel like reading all my science shit, skip down to this part!)

  1. LOVE.

Train yourself to start scanning for things you love about yourself, rather than things you hate. It’s way harder, since you are conditioned to do the latter. But try it anyway. Focus, take a deep breath and search.

Also gratitude journals are lit. Everyday write down three things you truly love about yourself. Neurologically, this does the same thing: trains your mind to start scanning for what you love rather than what you dislike about yourself. Overtime, the continued practice of gratitude journaling creates and reinforces neural pathways associated with self love and prunes back those associated with negative self perception.


Food is the foundation to a sound mind and body. The foods you take in are the primary building blocks of basically who you are. Food is the information your body uses to rebuild itself. So if we are talking self-love, one of the most tangible ways you can show your body love is to provide it with the “information” i.e. food it needs to be the best version of itself.

Yeah, this is tough. But start thinking mindfully when you eat. Less what you “feel” like (a double cheeseburger deep-fried in lard) and more what loving your body looks like? Is it a salad? Avo toast? Is it a lettuce wrapped burger with sweet potato fries? Start considering food as an act of self-love.

3. MOVE.

Look, most people don’t love to exercise. But the human body is built for movement.  We function optimally when we have a regular movement practice. We will eventually go into the benefits of various types of exercise not only on the nervous system, but also the effect it has on our psychological and emotional states, how we can use movement to release stored stress and unresolved emotion. I mean, I can go on and on. And trust me, I will.  

But for right now just move, bitch. Do ANYTHING. Walk. Do a plank first thing in the morning. Go to a yoga class. Go dancing with your bae. Move. Your. Body. It is a WONDERFUL way to communicate love to your body.

4. RISE.

Recognize that none of this is going to be easy to change. That we’ve been trained for our entire lives to scan our bodies for whats wrong, to view ourselves as not enough and less than. These ideas have been chronically reinforced in our minds by culture, society, religion, family, etc, etc. Which is to say that the neural pathways associated with these particular thought and feeling patterns are strong. While they are strong, they can be interrupted and replaced with consistent, regular, work.

Don’t punish yourself with a constant barrage of  “i’m not doing it right. I suck. I’m shit.” Know that the process of changing the way you view yourself will take time. There will be set backs.

Best practice when you’re creating a new you and rising:  build in set back time so you don’t feel like you are “failing.” Outside of the biochemical and neurological effects of negative self-perception on the body, continually thinking negative thoughts about yourself also takes up a significant amount of mental bandwidth that can be used for much more important things. So don’t waste time and literal energy with Mean Girl shit. Start paying attention to it. Call yourself out on it. Tell your friends that you aren’t going to do that anymore. Start holding each other accountable.

Questions or comments? Hit me up here or on any fuckin’ platform you want!

Thanks so much for listening to your body with me. And with every conversation please: Love, Energize, Move, and Rise!

 See you next week.


Stacy Berman